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I'm Baaaack!

Been dealing with Landlord issues and traveling, only to LA but still out of pocket. I have thoughts for new posts. One thought is about electronics: walkie talkies, first radio, Donna Summer, VCRs and Atari and other electronics over the years that I've purchased. I'll have to think this one through.

Excuses, Excuses

I've been trying to paste in what I've been writing the past couple of days. It doesn't seem like a lot but it's taken a lot of time to get it legally correct. I've been writing down the various incidents that have occurred with my Landlord, who is psychotic. Blogger won't let me paste it in, not sure what I'm doing wrong, but really have been writing.

I also announced to my therapy group that I started writing, which is a good thing. The more people, who I trust, know about this blog then I'll be more diligent in keeping up with it. They don't have access, yet. I think a little more time is needed.

I've also been working on letters to the landlord. I want to make sure they're worded correctly, such a hassle.

Just in time

Almost lost site of my goal, write everyday! I don't have a lot on my mind. It's been a long day with very little sleep from last night. Wish I could say it was due to fun activities but unfortunately I got little sleep because of a dispute with my landlord.

I wonder how this world will be in 50 years since, in my opinion, more and more people are losing the ability to communicate effectively. A lot of people have excuses for the lack of communication.

Oh Eddy, I can't think through the points, clearly, that I'm trying to make. It has something to do with our society and how more and more people are not relating to one another. People are mean. Now there's a headline.

I'm tired, will sleep on it and come back to this idea.

Barely educated

I heard from a friend who had a strong reaction to me labeling myself as barely educated. I'm also conflicted about describing myself this way but feel okay because I also state that I'm a somebody, as opposed to a nobody.

Having been the fat kid in Junior High and High School, I became very adept at making the jokes about myself first, before others could. It became second nature to denigrate myself first, even amongst friends.

I think there's still that fat kid in me that is ready to lob the first insult before anyone else does.

Also, the fact is, by society's standards, I am barely educated. I've noticed that a lot of the jobs that I'm interested in applying for are requiring a bachelor's degree. I can honestly say that 95% of my friends are all college graduates, some have even gone farther and acquired their master's degree. In most cases I don't feel inferior amongst my friends but there is a constant voice in the back of my head that says, "you're not as smart as them".

One thing I have learned to do more is not fake it. I spent so many years acting like I was on par with co-workers and friends. I realized that it was too much work to pretend to be smart, get the joke, get the reference, act like I know. A few simple words helped me out, " I don't understand" or "can you explain yourself". These were uttered in a simple matter of fact way. I quickly learned that most were willing to explain and then that lead to more interesting conversations. Very rarely did anyone put me down. I was usually the only one who did that.

So, yes, "barely educated" is stated as fact and with a wink of the eye. I may not have the breadth of knowledge that some have but I do have years of life experience and pretty damn good social skills and the willingness to learn.

I see this as an advantage but I would be lying if I said I don't have the occasional doubt and might keep quiet when the conversation turns to a topic or a reference I don't understand.

NOTE: Keep fleshing this out Eddy

What if...

What if I fail, not a great writer. I wish I could remember my dreams, never can. Sometimes I'll wake up and have a memory of a few things from my dreams but I rarely remember. However, I'm a bonafide daydreamer.

So of course, I'm already thinking how great it would be if I get a column, write a book and show up on The Daily Show and talk about my witty, sardonic, insightful, politically current novel or non fiction book with Jon.

I tend to get ahead of myself and wallow in my daydreams. It's what keeps me from committing to anything. I'm going to try to stick this out and keep writing. The writing will be a fun experience and if my only audience is me, God and a few friends, then so be it... BUT it would be really cool if something becomes of my writing. I might even try my hand at poetry again, we'll see.

NOTE to Eddy: Flesh this out: I'm 39, single, and live with two roommates. I'm fine with being 39 and where I am in life. I convince myself that I'm okay with being single, actually, to be honest, I'm so set in my ways, not sure who would be up to the task of loving Eddy. What I am not happy with is living with two other people...

I'm on my third glass of whisky, mmmmm love Woodford Reserve. Now go to bed Eddy, you promised Tracy you'd be at her 9am spin class!!

An effort in writing

This poem will stay at the top, as a reminder that I once really wanted to be a writer and even after all the confidence this poem gave me, it may have taken 21 years to become a writer. The poem was published in the graduation ceremony program for the Los Amigos Class of 1988. Unfortunately, in the final published program, they deleted the word, "damn", so as not to offend anyone.

This is my first blog entry. I'm conflicted about publicly writing about my life. However, in an effort to start writing again, I think this is the best way to practice and get better. I realize the public part is a double edged sword. I welcome constructive criticism and I'm wary of random comments of meanness but I'll manage. And already, my English Professor's voice is in my ear, "NO run on sentences". Well, for some reason I love a comma, periods are to finite and I think with commas, endless thoughts, not so much periods.

Also, rather than list "things to know about me", I'm going to try to write stories as a way to get to know me. I can guarantee that the initial postings will be boring and rough, so be warned.

I am currently unemployed. It is actually the first time in my life where I am not working for an extended period of time. I was initially excited about the possibilities but given the current economic situation, my excitement has turned to worry and desperation.

My first job was at the ripe age of 13 years old, working for the Orange County Register newspaper. I worked in a garage in Fountain Valley, stuffing the inserts into the newspaper sections for the Saturday and Sunday edition. It was monotonous, fun, boring and paid very little but enough for me to buy albums and my own clothes! This is 1982, so yes albums and cassettes.

I've never gone longer than 3 months without a job. The last time I was unemployed was back in 2004 and the market was full of many possibilities.

After the OC Register, was Burger King, then there was Miller's Outpost in the Westminster Mall. I vaguely remember working for a flower shop after this, somewhere on Harbor in Santa Ana. This was with the ROP program, through the school district.

Finally at the young age of 18, I started working at Sam Goody in Costa Mesa. Had a long run at Sam Goody, too long probably; 4 years. Then there was Blossom's a Florist, another flower shop. After that was Bayliner boats in Newport Beach. There was an exchange company I worked at briefly but vaguely remember it. Next was Executive Express in Newport Beach.

I'm 27, no college degree (after 3 years of community college) and no idea what I want to do with my life. Well, I knew I wanted to have fun and be rich (don't we all) but there was still a nagging voice in the back of my head that kept me from reaching my full potential and I wouldn't listen to that voice until I moved to San Francisco in 1997.

NOTE to Eddy: fill in missing info on each job, some interesting story, memory, if any.